she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]
(via owlmylove)
mutuals i am on the top bunk peering over the side to look down at u & i’m goin Psst hey r u still awake
(via merrysithmas)
It’s amazing how on the internet I’m like hey here’s a thing that helped me. Maybe it will help you.
And then someone is always like if I do that thing though it will kill me.
Probably don’t do it then. Idk what you want from me, man.
(via kaspbrakrichie)
imagine you’re frolicking in a field, prancing through long grass, singing “falalalala~”, occasionally picking a flower. etc, etc. but a guy in the same field is watching you, about 20 paces away. he lowers his opera glasses (which he was using to watch you) and starts clutching his head and screaming with blind rage because of how much you’re pissing him off. that’s what it’s like to be on the internet.
(via kaspbrakrichie)
this xkcd joke is completely hilarious without context. just the way the guy wordlessly steps back towards it
(via egberts)
Pedestrian affirmations:
YOU ARE INVINCIBLE
AUTOMOBILES TREMBLE AT THE SIGHT OF YOU
GOD’S DIVINE LIGHT SHIELDS YOU
CROSSWALKS ARE YOUR HOLY PATH TO SALVATION
(via kaspbrakrichie)
sorry for veggieangelism but really you can put pretty much any veg in the oven for 20 minutes at 400 covered in olive oil, salt, pepper, onion+garlic powder and have it be good
I stared at “veggieangelism” for way too long bracing myself for the most batshit veggietales related subculture discourse that also had some sort of overlap with real life evangelism to follow
(via kaspbrakrichie)
everyone’s like wehhhhh why doesn’t doctor house gets suuuueeed! like my man. literally every patient he sees is someone that’s been trying to find a diagnosis for ages. i could live with a little medical malpractice if it were coming from someone ready to break into my home to look for allergens and not simply half heartedly listen to me before suggesting I lose weight and take ages of back and forth arguing to order a single test
“it’s medical malpractice” have u ever been a doctor? most medicine is malpractice. let the man limp around chewing vicodin doing 50 invasive tests please
Once Taub (derogatory) derisively said about a patient with unexplained chronic pain “7 doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with him, what does that mean?” and House replied without even thinking “it means they’re idiots” and proceed to work his ass off to diagnose the patient Taub wanted to write off as a faker or something. If a doctor had said that when that patient was ME, I wouldn’t dream of suing them in a million years
(via redacted-metallum)
i’ve heard a lot of people say “don’t reach out to your friends first and see how many people will remain in your life. those are your true friends” and i get it. it sucks and it’s tiring constantly being the one to message first, to initiate hang outs but don’t take this so literally. some friendships require initiation. i have lost touch with so many people who genuinely cared about me and wanted me in their life because i stopped reaching out. it’s a hard pill to swallow but honestly some people just suck at it and it doesn’t mean they don’t love and value you. i’ve reconnected with some people over the past few months and it’s crazy how genuinely happy they are to see me and how engaged they are in the conversation. i just think sometimes we’re too harsh on each other & too quick to emphasize other peoples flaws and remove them from our lives but then we’ll all be alone and what’s the point of life then!!!!
(via egberts)
“unauthorized fucking thing” is my new favorite phrase. unauthorized. fucking. thing.
(via redacted-metallum)
12-year-old whose parents didn’t let them watch SpongeBob: ummm what is an “ipod” lol
insecure 23 year old: noooo fuck this can’t be happening to me. This is just like the beach that makes you old
iPods have nothing to do (directly) with SpongeBob I’m just providing characterization. Setting the scene you know? you understand
(via kaspbrakrichie)